Tuesday, November 25, 2008

No Easy Choices

I have met with the Ministry and Personnel Committee of St. Paul's congregation on several occasions since my return from restorative leave. They have told me that it is important to observe "day's off" in each week and while they were pastoral they were also firm. Do it!

Yesterday was one of those off days, and in the morning I got a call that an elderly man was dying in Oshawa hospital. While he wasn't active in the church, his wife has been, and she is a lovely person. Emergency surgery revealed extensive disease which couldn't be addressed by the surgery team. It was the wife calling and we spoke for a while before she signed off. She expressed no expectation that I go to the hospital but I mused about the situation for a while before I shaved, "dressed like a minister" and drove to Oshawa.

I sat and talked with the wife, her three adult children and in-laws. They decided to remove the ventilator because they had been given no hope of recovery. We talked, we even managed to laugh, and then we prayed. It was a holy time. Then, home I went. Early this morning he died.

Should I have chosen to stay at home? I suppose I could have asked another staff member to go, but the call was made to me. The reality of ministry is that it is not just a desk job, it is a people vocation and sometimes the response must be human. There is no clear-cut answer, and in the end I honestly felt I made the right choice. Taking another day away (the usual suggestion) isn't always possible, and there will be other emergencies.

My experience is that everyone appreciates the need for a minister to have personal time until their crisis occurs. It's understandable.And my calling is a ministry of word, sacrament and pastoral care. I understand what M&P is trying to do, and what I need to do to stay healthy, but at times there really aren't easy choices.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wish I had an answer.

Deborah Laforet said...

Days off are important. Especially if the day is used to rest or recharge our batteries in whatever ways are best for each of us.

Being a minister is also a calling. It's not a job that can be turned on at 9am and turned off at 5pm. This is why self-care is so important. Being there for this family was obviously important for you to do, and your day off may have been miserable if you hadn't followed your heart.

Take care. You may not be able to take another day off in place of this one, but make sure you take some time for self care. (Especially with Advent coming!)