As I walked out the door this morning the first flakes of "Stormageddon" (please, wasn't Katrina Stormageddon?) were falling and CBC radio was earnestly discussing how to "play well with others" at Christmas. A couple of experts were discussing how we can avoid conflict at this time of year when we expected to be luvvy duvvy.
This is really an important subject, as my pastoral and personal experience tells me. My parents parted company when I was in my late teens and my departed Dad seemed to choose this season to do and say things that were painful for his family, even though he was a minister.
I've had a couple of conversations this year with folk who are sorting out their emotions about family, realizing that there is something about Christmas which creates inner turmoil. One person confided that her former husband tends to become angry at this time of the year even though he is conciliatory during the rest of the year.
There is no point in being glib about this or suggesting easy answers -- there are none. Yet it is important to remember that Christmas is not just about the cradle, even though this is the obvious focus of the season. There is also the cross as that essential symbol of reconciliation and forgiveness and Christ's love. Over the years I have come to realize that forgiveness as a "letting go" is as necessary for the "forgiver" as for the "forgiven." Holding on to our grievances can be so destructive and why do we want to be misshapen because of what someone else has done? While we can't forget, we can choose a different way.
I would be interested in your observations and experiences.
1 comment:
This year is wonderful for many people, but it can also be a time of year when people struggle. Family is a focal point, and many people have had painful experiences of family, whether it be from abuse or hardship from childhood or because loved ones who are lost are missed.
I find the "Blue Christmas" service to be particularly meaningful for this reason. It's a healing service that recognizes that Christmas is not always "the most wonderful time of the year." I see a lot of tears during that service, and I feel full of emotion by the end of it. Thankfully, there is a place to express these feeligngs.
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