Over the years I have become convinced of the importance of moving on spiritually and psychologically when I answer a call to a new congregation. It's not easy, particularly when close bonds of trust are established through the joys of sorrows of living together within a Christian community. Before I left the St. Paul's congregation I had to gently let a couple of people know I couldn't come back to preside at their funerals and as I have been informed of their deaths I feel pangs of loss and regret. We shared deeply together. But part of all this is appreciating that God calls me to service and leadership for a time and place, and it is unhealthy for everyone concerned, including the arriving minister, to hang on, and on, and on.
All this said, there have always been opportunities for contact and even friendship with former parishioners and staff members. Some of those friendships have come to flower after departure because of the importance of balance and professionalism while actually in the congregation. We have a strong friendship with a couple from our first pastoral charge in Newfoundland. They were parents of teens then, but just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. One of those teens is now a colleague in ministry.
Now with email and social media there are ongoing contacts which were just not possible in earlier decades. In the past week there has been a flurry of quick exchanges with folk. The cyber-conversations touched on an impending retirement, the death of a father-in-law, the successful stage debut of a talented tween, a daughter heading off to university, a joyful remarriage, sharing a resource. All were brief, all were satisfying. And yes, being just an hour down the road from my former congregation for the first time in over thirty years of ministry there have been some actual human contacts, complete with hugs.
I will continue to be mindful of boundaries, especially as a new minister has been called. It's only fair and I want the best for Michelle. Yet, I don't find anything in scripture about being required to develop pastoral amnesia when moving on to a new congregation.
The great thing is, I am really enjoying the folk at Bridge St with all their gifts and humour and spiritual insight. Lucky me. Okay, blessed rather than lucky.
What are your thoughts about all this?
2 comments:
An excellent attitude to have, David ... so glad you are now our minister at BSUC! Love Ruth, too!
Having had several transfers earlier in my career(all at my request), I know how hard it can be to leave friends and coworkers. It's hard enough to do as a police officer, but the sharing and closeness that a minister has with his/her congregation would make it even more difficult.
Like you said, with social media, one is able to keep in touch much easier. I have opted to stay away from things like Facebook and Twitter, but that's just a personal choice. I can see how it would be appealing.
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